There has been so much press in the media about the effect of violent television on our impressionable youth. I say however, what has been generously overlooked is the detrimental effect of ‘80s sugar-puff children’s cartoons. That is right, that sickly sweet Strawberry Shortcake, those dancing My Little Ponies, rainbow-y Rainbow Brite and the highest criminals of them all…..those co-dependent Carebears. Don’t get me wrong, I loved these cheerful critters as a child. I had t-shirts, coloring books, reading materials, collectible cards, dolls, and little plastic idols all devoted to this tribe of do-gooders. They are perhaps even the reason why I am in Social Work. After all, who was the one to tend the garden made of colorful cakes and friends that were made of confectionary sugar and pie but Strawberry Shortcake? Who spread rainbows and love throughout the world but the carebears through their powerful “carebear stare.” I wonder sometimes whether some of the people that they went to save…I mean, help (sorry, a little slip) actually wanted their assistance? It seemed like it didn’t matter to those fuzzy little bears of warmth whether you wanted their help---as soon as they assessed that you were in dire need of some carebear goodness, they arrived immediately in their cloud cars to gave it to you anyway.
Which takes me to Rainbow Brite….who made it her responsibility to spread color in the world? Did she ever wake up one day and say, “Damn, Pearl Jam really does have it right. Let me get some black nailpolish on and be done with this color shit.” The main message in all those sacchrine cartoons seems to be that it is our responsibility as well-adjusted, middle-class yuppie youth to make it our goal in life to fix the problems of our world. Not famine or hunger, or even violence, but the lack of the proper moods in people. I wonder whether any of the Carebears ever had a meltdown where they exclaimed, "GOSH DARN IT PEOPLE CAN’T YOU JUST SMILE!!!!" For instance, have you ever seen a My Little Pony with anything less than a spectacular grin on her face? In fact, many an episode has been centered around the whole tribe of ponies gathering together to change the mood of that one lonesome pony that got up on the wrong side of the bed. Quick! Everybody stop! Lickity-Split has a case of the Mondays! We must notify Princess Rainbow pony and her ponyland advisors before this problem gets out of hand! And people wonder why we seem to get accused of being out of touch with the world's problems?
The other thing that strikes me as a bit odd in these colorful cartoons is the lack of the male presence in their society. Has anyone else found it odd that there never seemed to be any male bears? or ponies? One of the original Strawberry Shortcake characters, Plum Puddin' was actually originally male, however, sometime in the 80s changed genders. I bet, if we were to look at the demographics of Ponyland, Care-a-lot (the Carebear metropolis for those of you who haven’t kept up with your Carebear trivia) and Strawberry Shortcake’s hometown we might find that perhaps the ratio of female to male bears/cakes/ponies equals…..don’t be shocked…. the ratio of female to male social workers! Coincidence? I think not.
Overall Message
Go forth little girls and spread some sugar/rainbows/high fructose corn syrup etc.….and if you do get rebellious, the proper place for a tattoo is a discreet heart or colorful mark on your pony/bear ass.
